i’ve had pets. i’ve actually had quite a few pets. dogs mostly. when i was younger we had a two dogs at a time for my entire pre-teen life. and they were great. really great. i’ve since had a bird. some fish. a couple of cats. pets really are great. but ultimately, i don’t really care too much about them.

how can i possibly say that if i claim to like them and think they’re really great? tough to say… i guess it’s because, when they’re gone, i just don’t care anymore. cold heart? soulless? no idea.

we had two cats maybe 8 years ago, give or take. i was allergic, but my wife wanted them so fine. we got cats. ultimately my allergies won out and we had to get rid of them. i expected to feel some level of remorse or sadness… but nope. nothing. gave them to a nice bohemian couple in the city and drove away like i was dropping off laundry.

at first i wondered what the hell is wrong with me?! we had those cats for years. i liked those cats. how can i not care that they were gone? here’s the upshot – those cats; and pets in general, really, do nothing for me. they’re nice to have around and play with every once in a while. but in the end, what am i getting out of a pet? a veterinary bill, a food bill, and dried kibble that rolled under my refrigerator. and maybe 20 minutes of entertainment every day. offset, of course, by the number of times i had to walk the dog, clean the litter / tank / birdcage… not worth it to me.

i don’t hate pets. i like pets. i just don’t CARE about them. i like buffalo wings too, but i don’t CARE about them.

i know there are millions of people who say they CARE about their pets. and perhaps they truly do. but my guess is that maybe half – possible more – really don’t CARE about their pets. they care FOR their pets. they like their pets. but unless you’re 12 years old or younger, there’s a 50/50 shot that you don’t really care about your pets.

and that’s really ok. who cares whether or not you care about your pets or my pets or anyone’s pets. they are pets. don’t get me wrong, i don’t ever want to see anything bad happen to pets. people who do terrible things to animals are just awful, vile, creatures. but pets… just not for me. if my kids want a dog i’ll probably get them one eventually. i’ll probably like the thing too. but when the day comes for old fido to visit that great dog run in the sky, you won’t see me shedding a tear for him. i might be sad for the loss my children are going through. but it won’t be a loss to me.

pets are things to keep you busy. keep you from being bored. i don’t care about pets. and i certainly don’t care about YOUR pets, so please don’t tell me how great your pet is and what an idiot i am. this is my opinion and how i feel. what side of the 50/50 are you on? and are you being honest with the side you identify with? do you SAY you care about your pets? in the end, think about how you’d feel if your pet wasn’t around anymore. really truly think about it. then decide what side of the 50/50 you’re on.

Next time on Why I Don’t Care…

mass transit

people REALLY care about what other people think of them. so much so that it can completely ruin their day, week, year or life. i really don’t care what people think of me. i mean, sure, i would like it if people like me, but in the end, it doesn’t really matter. like me. don’t like me. i don’t care. i’m pretty happy regardless of your acceptance.

i know that there are plenty of people who think i’m an asshole. you know what? i think i’m an asshole. i KNOW i’m an asshole. but i don’t really care. i’m an asshole because i don’t have any interest in acting the way people want me to act. i do things the way i want to do them. i act the way i want to act. if i want to be nice to you tomorrow… guess what? i’ll be nice to you. if i want to ignore you or be a complete schmuck to you… you got it, that’s what i’ll do. because in the end, with the exception of my wife and kids, i don’t REALLY care what people think about me.

here’s what not caring what people think about me saves me:

1. i don’t care about what you’re thinking.
   pretty much the whole blog entry, right? brass tax, here, though. how many times have you said something or done something and thought “oh my goodness he / she must think i’m a complete ass/bitch.” and then worried about that for hours. not me. as long as you go in knowing that people are going to think you’re an ass/bitch, there’s not a lot to worry about here. i’ve had people tell me “wow, they’re going to think you’re a real ass” and you know what my reaction is? “um. yeah. and?” because i just don’t care.
2. i don’t have to hold my thoughts in
   i used to care what people thought about me and i would not say things that i thought were important, controversial, germain and/or right. now that i don’t care what people think, i say whatever the hell is on my mind. don’t care. no agenda. here i am world – these are my thoughts. like ‘em or leave ‘em. it makes life soooo much easier. and if feels soooo good to tell someone that they are being a complete moron when, in fact, they are being a complete moron. don’t get me wrong. i’m not interested in being rude to people. the whole point here is that i don’t care what YOU think. i do care if i hurt your feelings. i’ll show a little diplomacy about it. i’ll get my message across. i won’t actually say “you are a moron” – but i will make it pretty darned clear that i think you’re a moron… and you won’t feel quite as bad as if i had said “you are a moron.” one of the subtle nuances of my philisophy. it avoids confrontation. because after all, confrontation happen because people CARE what the other person thinks.
3. i don’t think you have an agenda.
   becuase i don’t have an agenda. and by “agenda” i’m referring to alterior motives. in case that wasn’t clear.don’t get me wrong, i’m sure you have an agenda. i just don’t care what it is. my agenda? there is none. and i go through life soooo fat dumb and happy. i take everything at face value and expect to be taken at face value. i’m sure i’ve been screwed out of things in the past and this probably makes me an easy mark… but i don’t care. i enjoy life very much. your agenda means nothing to me. if you tell me you want a peanut butter sandwich, i’m going to assume that you want a peanut butter sandwich; not that you want to poison the guy next to you because he’s allergic to peanuts. and if i tell you that i want a jar of honey to draw bees into my neighbor’s yard because their effing dog won’t stop barking, it’s because i want to draw bees into my neighbors yard to sting their dog. pretty simple. no alterior motive. very straight forward

there’s a lot more things that not caring about what people think save me, but i can’t think about them right now. maybe for a future post as they come to mind.

one last thing that i don’t care about? spelling mistakes in my “i don’t care” blog. if i spelled something wrong – too effing bad. if i misused a word, i’m sure you know the word i intended to use. don’t act like you’re incredibly smart and that the author of the i don’t care blog is a moron. becuase if i WAS a moron, you wouldn’t have made it this far.

next time on “why i don’t care…”

pets.